There’s still so much love in the world. People are still getting married, despite all the critics pointing out it’s an archaic institution. Babies are still being born, no matter how much the cynics ask why you would want to bring a child into this world. Every day, a wretched soul decides to do what is best for them and put down the bottle or throw out the pills. They turn their lives around.
Why bother? The planet is fucked, people are awful, disease and poverty are constant companions, and we live in a world where all your dirty secrets are a few keystrokes away from headline news. So why try to do anything beyond yourself? Why struggle for redemption? Why dedicate your life to the unconditional love and absolute devotion to another person?
Because love can save us all. Because love still exists at all. If you can love yourself then you can love the world. If you are capable of redemption, so is the junkie in the alley and the murder in the prison. We bring children into this world not because it is perfect and beautiful and easy but to raise them with love, to teach them to love themselves and thus love the world. Then they change can continue our work, to change the world for the better. And we marry, not because the government says we must, or because our religion says it is your purpose but because we love. Marriage is to dedicate your life to someone, to say “all that I do is in honor of you.” Not about possession or security, but a love so honest that it transcends your own ego and recognizes the most important thing of all.
To simply love, with all your mind, body, and soul.
Around this time last year, my lust for performing became an intense love affair. I worked my last day as a tech a few weeks into the new year and haven’t had the time to regret it. This year, I had been disappointed to not be involved in any holiday events but looking at my schedule of classes and training days I realized I haven’t a thing to be sad about. This unexpected free time is an opportunity to propel my career in a focused, strategic direction, instead of figuring it out gig by gig.
I’ve heard it said that when we don’t get what we want, it’s to make room for what we need.
Last night, the first time in my life, I blocked a phone number. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do because I wasn’t blocking someone I hate, someone who was harassing me. I had to block someone I love. Someone I care about so deeply and passionately. So much that it hurts.